Random ponderings of an exhausted but thankful me.

It is Saturday night. I am exhausted. I am spending my "night off" doing laundry, paying bills, and cleaning. Doing all of the things that I am too tired to do during my few hours off here and there during the week.

But it's okay! Do you want to know why? Well even if you don't, I'm going to tell you, because I am oh-so-happy about it. I got a new job! Which means...I am putting my 2 weeks notice in at Trillium tomorrow. My new job is only part time, about 15 hours a week, so I won't be making as much money as I am currently, but I"ll be able to make ends meet I think. I am more than willing to trade money for sanity. I guess I'm essentially buying sanity. What a good buy.

My new job is being a part of a longitudinal research study. Which means that I get to "work" doing 2 things that I love...psychology and theater. And that my schedule may possibly be more balanced than it has been since....well....ever. (Note: I am writing all this in anticipation. I am fully aware that I often have good intentions and then life changes things. But just let me ride this high, okay?).

Speaking of highs, these are some things in my life that I am thankful for. It makes my exhausted body and mind seem a little less tired to think about them. And you know I love lists.

#1) My roommate.

The woman with whom I can be completely myself. In fact, sometimes I think I am more fully myself when I am with her than when I am alone. We are kindred spirits. She brings out sides in me that she knows exist, but that I often don't have energy to bring out in myself. Like my crazy, silly, spontaneous side. And she doesn't do it in a pressuring, "Hey, let's be cool and pretend that we are worry free" sort of way. But rather a, "Yes, life sucks sometimes, so let's just find simple joy in things and not care what people think" sort of way. I like that I can be real with Kristy. And if I had a shitty day, I'll say so. So will she. And then we'll sit in the shittiness together for a minute or two, then choose to move past it.

#2) My boyfriend.

(Note: I hate the term boyfriend. I think it sounds very middle school-ish and flippant. But that is what he is, so I guess I can call him that). I like him a LOT. He brings tea for us to drink together. He journals and has very deep thoughts. He watches The Office and Arrested Development. He gives good back rubs. He lives very simply. He challenges me to think about the hidden presuppositions I have in life. He likes listening to Coldplay. He brings snacks when we go places. I like lots more things too, but we'll stop there for now.

#3) Theater!

I just love it. I like teaching the littles, watching them come out of their shell, say their lines, face the audience, and sometimes even PROJECT! I like working with the more advanced older kids because they are GOOD. And during rehearsals, I get to dance and sing with them. I am mesmerized watching them sometimes. I also love the theater family. I'm getting to know people and to be involved in different parts of the theater. Like helping with the auction and teaching in schools. I'm really stretching myself as a person through the theater too, making myself try new things that I am not sure I will succeed at (even simple things like trusting myself to come up with blocking, which is not hard but something with which I have not had a lot of experience).

#4) Coffee and bagel dates with my brother.

Every Wednesday we have a coffee and bagel date in which we...well...eat bagels and drink coffee. And talk about a lot of things. I'm realizing how much of me only my brother knows. He has known me since he was born, been a part of the same family, and has seen me in more situations than almost anyone. I love that he has become one of my best friends and my confidante.


Of course I"m thankful for more things, but these are 4 that came to mind especially.

I think I'll go eat something, clean, then let me exhausted mind and body rest some. But it felt good to write.