hallway.

C. S. Lewis' thoughts on Mere Christianity.

"The hall is a place to wait in, a place from which to try the various doors, not a place to live in. For that purpose the worst of the rooms (whichever they may be) is, I think, preferable. It is true that some people may find they have to wait in the hall for a considerable time, while others feel certain almost at once which door they must knock at. I do not know why there is a difference, but I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait. When you do get into your room you will find that the long wait has done you some kind of good which you would not have had otherwise. But you must regard it as waiting, not as camping. You must keep on praying for light: and, of course, even in the hall, you must begin trying to obey the rules which are common to the whole house."

This is where I am at. THIS. Right here. I am in the hallway, testing doors. Poking my head in, seeing what I really believe about these truths and religions. I am not seeking contentment, but truth. But I have so many questions! And so many of my (former) beliefs are being shattered! I know there is an ultimate Truth, and a Creator, but how that all works and what it means...I don't know. I am still walking down the hallway, but I have come to be okay with that. I am slowly plugging along, sometimes running back into a room that feels comfortable, then venturing out again as I seek Truth.

So that is where I am at, and why I have not written in a while, because it's hard to write form the hallway.