various thoughts and rants about feminism and singleness.

I am a young, single feminist. The feminist in me has been yet again awakened and it makes me upset. When this happens, I become hyper-aware of any sign of female oppression or inequality, whether or not the offending party intended to come across in that way. Foooooor example... I was at church today, and I told a lady that I have a phone interview with the president of a company in North Carolina. When she spoke of the president, she called him a "he." The president is, in fact, a woman...but I guess people don't associate females with presidents. Also, a friend recently told me about a wedding she went to, at which the pastor gave the bride extensive "advice" about the importance of submitting to her husband, but never once talked to the groom about submission. This made me infuriated. Additionally, I read a facebook status that a guy from my high school wrote "to all the single men out there," reminding them to use this time as a single man to "prepare to lead a woman in marriage." Don't EVEN get me started on this, there is so much I could rant about. Like the fact that just because someone is single doesn't mean that he or she is sitting on his or her ass and waiting to get married, living life to prepare for that "one perfect day where life becomes complete." And that's like telling women to use this time to prepare to follow your husband. What does that even mean?!

Okay, I'm done ranting...well, almost.

At this point in life I am single. My friends are all getting married. Being single at this point in life is different than it ever has been before. Now that I am almost 24, people are expecting me to be married soon. And because I am not married, people often assume that I am sitting waiting to get swept off my feet and be married. Ladies and gentlemen, I have had a DOZEN MEN express interest in me or ask me out within the last several months. I don't say that to sound cocky, but to prove a point. I AM NOT DESPERATE. In fact, I am quite the opposite. I am single because...

1) I choose to be. And I don't owe you an explanation. But I will expand a little further...

2) Almost every guy who I go out with I can have wrapped around my finger within one date. I find that pretty unattractive. I want to be the one scared of getting my heart broken!

3) I am still trying to reconcile my traditional beliefs with my modern, feminist ones. This creates a ridiculously unfair situation for men, because how the hell am I supposed to expect them to meet my confusing standards when I don't even understand them myself?! For example...I appreciate chivalry. I like it when guys open doors and pay. But then I also feel strongly about women being strong and having equal rights. So it seems kind of unfair to expect a guy to open doors and pay, but then go off about how I can do things on my own and I don't want to be treated like I am less capable. Basically, I just need to figure out what I think, at least a little bit more.

4) At this time in my life, I am unsettled, and I can foresee myself being there at least for a while longer. I am moving to North Carolina. I want the freedom to establish my place in my new city and community on my own. Then, perhaps, I can think about inviting someone else along on this journey.

5) I feel as though I am more emotionally intelligent than most men. For ONCE I want to be the unstable one in the relationship. Tell ME to pull my shit together! Validate MY feelings! Tell ME how to handle them!

I'm sure there are more, but those are five main ones. In summary...my feminist side has been reawakened. The world is screwed up. I am single for good reasons. And if people don't understand, that is okay.

I am a single feminist with lots of questions who is trying to figure out her place in society, faith, and the world.