-Today during my few minutes of lunch, I walked a block away from the theater and sat on an old stone wall. I read Mary Oliver. After less than 10 minutes of this, I felt so refreshed and encouraged. Good poetry can make breathing easier sometimes.
-I realized that sometimes apathy is unavoidable, but sometimes it's not. I often get caught up in subconsciously willing [choosing!] to wallow in apathy and complacency. My emotions follow this will. Wouldn't it be better to smile more, even if it seems unnatural? Even if I'm alone? Perhaps feelings will follow this smile. What if I viewed each day of life as a gift, because it is. What if I took time to see and hear and taste and smell and touch what is around me, and not just once, but many times. I think feelings of apathy would disappear, or at least diminish.
-I like being at the theater all day. I like being in one place all day! I can become more or less settled in a routine (although my job is ANYTHING but routine). But still.
-Today I played the piano. Today I spoke Spanish with a lady from Spain. These are two things that I was once good at, yet for which I have lost much of my ability. It felt so good to do these things again, but it was also sad to realize that I am not as good as I once was! I want to be good again. But with how thin I"m already spreading myself, it ain't gonna happen. At least anytime soon. But one of program directors at the theater snuck in and heard me messing around on the piano, and asked if I would help her teach a class in the fall and be in charge of music. So even though I am FAR from good, that was encouraging. And when I spoke Spanish with the lady from Spain, she told me I sounded really good. That was nice to hear that my minor in college was not completely wasted, ha. Maybe these things can be picked up again at some point later in life.
That's all. Just those things.
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