I am...

I am learning that it is okay to be uprooted. There is a time to be uprooted. A time when I am supposed to be uprooted. I want to seek to grow in this time so that when I am planted again, I can be healthy. This time is good.

I am learning that where I seek fulfillment determines which parts of my being will thrive. If I am rooted in Truth and in Love, these parts of me will thrive and my being will adapt to that. But if I am rooted primarily in the world through people intellect or employment or comprehendible stability, these parts of my being will grow and suffocate portions of Truth. The parts I feed are the parts that survive. The food I feed determines my health. Which parts am I feeding? And from where am I seeking fulfillment?

I am finding myself asking questions that I was afraid to ask before in an effort to better understand Truth. This process is gratifying and petrifying. Draining and filling.

I am being taught, gifted, and tested with illogical grace.

I am trying to understand how I see God in nature. I know he is present there, but I'm trying to figure out what it means for me to connect with Him in that way. It's different for me.

I am tired. Tired of questioning. Tired of being stretched. Tired of pouring out. Father, I need rest!

I am learning that theology and humility NEED to go hand in hand, and I'm trying to figure out what that looks like.

I am afraid of stalling. A wise elderly man in my house church said that it is so easy to stall in faith and in life.

I am recognizing that some areas in my life needed/need to be greatly refined before I am ready to pursue a marriage. Yes, life is a learning journey, but I am thankful for Grace in allowing me to learn at least a little about these things at this time.

I am wondering how I am supposed to fit everything in in life. Or even in a day.

I am realizing that in 4 weeks I have no direction.

I am done writing for now because I need sleep. Yes, lots of sleep. But it is good to write.