this pretty accurately answers the question "how are you."

I am on an accelerated learning curve right now. Slowly moving towards understanding at least a little more about Truth. And yes, it is both accelerated and slow. It is good for me to ask questions I never asked before and know why I believe what I believe. At this place in life, at this time, I want to seek and seek. There is a time to be planted and a time to be uprooted. In this time of being uprooted, I want to seek and learn and understand so that when I am planted, I can be healthy.

That's all I want to write about that for now. In the past 7 days, I have had many many in depth conversations, asked so many questions, been shown many things, been convicted, received hope, and undergone so much learning. But I don't have the time or energy or need to write about all of that on here. So I'm going to write about other things.

I love love love my place in camp this year. It fits. I fit I think.

I am wearing a dress and heels now. A bunch of the staff got dressed up and went to dessert in Sherwood after camp. We traded chacos for heels, and it felt nice. I got to be Julianne for a bit instead of Chip.

I'm feeling more like a grown up, and it's weird. I think it's because I'm used to being the baby in a group of friends or co-workers. Now, I'm the older one. I don't always want to do the things that the 19 year olds are doing. Yes, it's good to be reminded of my inner child, but I don't feel like I always belong with them. I'm so happy for them as they get excited about staying up late and watching movies, or have the desire to go to a club in Portland. I did once too. Just not anymore. Now I would rather get coffee with one friend or go journal sometimes.

It is also weird being a boss. Learning to take initiative and how to confront. How to tell people what to do, because I am supposed to. It has been a stretch but it has been good.

That's all for now. My apologies for writing so much lately. I just get tired of people asking me how I am, and only being able to come up with "fine."